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A word of advice for males with dating profiles, if I may. Also posting a photo of your dick, covered only by your tiny banana hammock, will not find you a woman.

Same goes for constantly going on about how you “don’t do this kind of thing often” or that “this was the result of a drunken bet”.

This we all know; we’re all in it together, remember.

Oh, and stop with the “I don’t know what to write” rubbish, too – tell me about yourself, and not what your best friend, who just happens to be a girl, says.

According to protocol, if you picked a potential mate and they only wanted you as a friend you won’t get told but if you’re both match/match or friend/friend, you will.

As the organiser put it at the end of the night, “You don’t want to meet up with someone intent on shagging you, if you only want a coffee”. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind on the night of the event.

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